Pancreatic cancer, although devastating news, has a unique way of bringing family and friends together in unexpected ways. For Randy Pausch, the Last Lecture gave his kids a lasting memory of their father at his best -- inspiring others. For my family, a video of my husband's mother reading Good Night Moon to her yet-to-be born grandchildren will always keep her alive in their young hearts. For another family, an unexpected friendship proved to be inspiration ... that inspiration was Rich Phillips. A special thanks to Bill's family for sharing their story.
Bill was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the day after Thanksgiving, 2004. At first we thought that the cancer was operable, but our hopes were soon dashed by the surgeon. In January 2005 Bill began 5 weeks of radiation treatment, with chemo once a week. It was at his radiation session that he met Rich Phillips. Rich’s treatment was right after Bill’s, so the two were in the waiting room at the same time, and soon became good friends. Even after their treatments had ended, they continued to keep in contact with one another, calling to see what meds each was taking, how they were feeling, if they were throwing up, etc. Our families also became close.
Previous to his diagnosis, Bill and I had made reservations to spend a month in Maui. We were fortunate in that Bill was retired and we could afford to go on this trip. Radiation had been very hard on his body, but we were determined to go. Ten days and 4 IVs after his last radiation and chemo treatments, we left for Maui. He was so weak he needed a wheelchair at each airport terminal. We somehow managed to get to the rented condo on March 1st. Two days later our son and daughter-in-law came to Maui and stayed in the unit next door for 9 days. At first Bill rarely left the condo, spending most of his time on the couch. Then our son coaxed him to the golf course where he rode in the cart while our son played golf. Two days after they left our daughter and her boy friend came for 8 days. By this time Bill was up walking around and spending some time in the sun, even going on a whale watch. After they left we had a week before we returned home. In that week, Bill had regained so much of his strength that he played two 18 hole rounds of golf. We were so glad we had spent that time in such a beautiful environment, which we both felt aided his healing.
Before he was diagnosed and became ill Bill was very active and was in excellent shape. He worked out at the Health Club 4 or 5 days a week and played golf a couple of times a week. He was an avid fly fisherman, going on 10 day to 2 week trips every year. He was an artist, painting more than 75 paintings. He coached soccer for 25 years, actively participating in all practices. He could out hike most people 25 years his junior. In the winter he skied. He ran in 5K and 10K races year round. The Bolder Boulder 10K was his favorite, where he placed 2nd at age 74 in 2004. He didn’t smoke, and rarely had a glass of wine. But pancreatic cancer came anyhow.
After we returned from Maui, Bill continued many of his activities. He went on a week long fly fishing trip. He played golf several times, and went for many walks and hikes when he was able. He also continued to keep in contact with Rich.
Unfortunately by June the chemo treatments were not doing any good and the Dr. told us there was nothing else he could do for Bill. He still kept as active as he could, but his body was getting weaker and weaker. However, we all still hoped for a miracle.
Our son came down for a visit and used a video camera to do several interviews with his Dad. Bill was a great story teller. He told about his childhood, his time in the Navy, his days at the University of Colorado and his working years in the computer field. After he passed our son had those interviews converted to DVD ‘s and we can now see him telling about his life.
At the same time our daughter contacted friends, relatives, former coworkers and the young men who had played soccer for Bill over the past 25 years. She asked them to send a message and/or pictures to Bill. The response was overwhelming. She was able to fill 5 albums with letters and pictures from people sharing their love and caring for Bill. The best part was that Bill got to read every one of them, so he knew how much he was loved and how many lives he had touched in such a positive way.
By mid July Bill was spending most of his time in bed, being too weak to get up. Then on July 17 Rich and Meg called to say that they were in the area and were going to stop by. Well, there was no way Bill was going to let Rich see him in bed, so he leapt up, put on his clothes and came downstairs for the visit.
Toward the end of July we had “home hospice”, where the nurse came twice a week to regulate his meds, and the social worker and chaplain came a few times. Our son visited as frequently as he could. Our daughter was here every single day. We visited with Bill while he was awake and kept him comfortable and pain free. Bill passed away peacefully the end of August. Even though it has been 5 years, we all still miss him and think of him every day.
Submitted by his loving wife and soul mate of 49 years.
