Thanksgiving was Mom's Tradition

Thanksgiving always reminds me of my mom, Hildy.

Hildy Burness passed away from pancreatic cancer early Thanksgiving morning, 2005. She was a beloved teacher for over 20 years at San Francisco Day School, a long-time member of Saint Aidan's Episcopal Church, loving wife of Dave, and great mom to me (Jim) and my brother Pete (and a number of other kids she took under her wing).

Her memorial service at Saint Aidan's was the largest event the building had ever seen, with visitors left standing in the stairwells and out the doors. She was an environmentalist and a recycler long before it was "cool" and was beloved by both her students and her friends for giving it to you straight with a big helping of love. 

Nothing was more important to Mom than her family and her extended family. Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday and our small San Francisco house was always filled to the brim with family and friends (and often some new friends brought along by other friends). She never wanted anyone to alone on that day.  If she heard that you had no place to go, you suddenly did. There was never an option to say no.

Jim Burness, master turkey carver

In fact, Thanksgiving was so important to her, she had a full dinner with all the trimmings the year we didn't even have a kitchen or dining room. The house was undergoing a major remodel and Mom and Dad had been getting by on a hot plate and a microwave oven in the front hallway for months. But this was Thanksgiving, so she secured the use of ovens of the various neighbors who would be away for the holiday, had the construction crew stop what they were doing, and asked them to make a big dining room table out of plywood sheets and sawhorses. As with every other year, the dinner was wonderful, the conversation was lively and the wine never stopped flowing.  It's that Hildy Spirit and Determination we all miss the most.

Table set with loving care

To this day, the tradition continues, beginning with that fateful day.  Each year we all travel to San Francisco -- family and friends -- to celebrate the holiday and of course, Mom.  The family is bigger now and we each play a role in making the feast.  Pete makes the stuffing (or dressing as Mom called it) from her special recipe and I carve the turkey. Our wives take turns between child wrangling and cooking, and my cousin Carol is in charge of the turkey-shaped cranberry cut outs.  It's our celebration of Mom! 

The tradition continues and has long reached beyond this table.  Tables are set up throughout the house.

Jim and his Mom, Hildy.