Maker of Steve Jobs Action Figure: 'Apple Can Do Anything They Like...I Will Not Stop'

By LAUREN EFFRON
Jan. 4, 2012— go.com

Hong Kong Firm Markets 12-Inch-Tall Jobs Figurine. Will Apple Sue?

One Hong Kong businessman was so enamored with Steve Jobs that he spent years developing the late Apple CEO's likeness into an action figure.

Tandy Cheung and his firm, In icons, started featuring the 12-inch Steve Jobs doll on its website for $99.99, and is unfazed by Internet murmurs that Apple, Inc. or Jobs' estate could take legal action to prevent the doll's release.

"Apple can do anything they like," Cheung said. "I will not stop, we already started production."
Pre-orders for the action figure, which has an eerie similarity to Jobs, are being taken now. The company says it will be released in stores and online in late February.

"I love [Jobs] very much and I think there are a lot of people like me who want to have his action figure," Cheung said.

While he said he was aware Apple had stopped other companies from making Steve Jobs dolls in the past, Cheung said he is "not sure" if his action figure will cause Apple to take legal action. But, Cheung said, he spoke with several lawyers in Hong Kong who told him he wasn't in violation as long as he doesn't include any Apple products with the figure.

"Steve Jobs is not an actor, he's just a celebrity... There is no copyright protection for a normal person," Cheung said.

"Steve Jobs is not a product... so I don't think Apple has the copyright of him."

No detail was spared in creating this G.I. Joe-eqse figure, which Cheung said is derived from a 2007 image of Jobs, when "he still looks very healthy." The doll is dressed in Jobs' signature black turtleneck and blue jeans, with a black leather belt, black socks and tiny New Balance sneakers.

"Everybody can only recognize Steve Jobs in that style," Cheung said.

The In icons website shows the Steve Jobs action figure holding a mini-iPhone and iPad, but Cheung said these items would not be included with the doll.

But the doll does come with accessories: two pairs of glasses, a tiny stool, two red apples (one with a bite taken out of it) and three pairs of hands -- Cheung said only the hand featuring Jobs' wedding ring has bendable fingers that can move and hold items.

In the past, Apple has been aggressive in protecting Steve Jobs' image, but this was when Jobs was still alive. He died of cancer Oct. 5 at age 56.

In November 2010, Apple went after the Hong Kong-based M.I.C. Gadget Store when it attempted to market a Steve Jobs action figure. Apple told the company to stop the sale and marketing of the action figure because the company did "not consent to the use of Apple's copyrights and trademarks." On Jan. 18, 2011, M.I.C. re-released the Steve Jobs figure dressed as a ninja -- complete with a black mask, black belt, ninja stars -- and renamed as "Pineapple CEO."

Not fooled by the alterations, Apple's lawyers once again demanded M.I.C end production of the refurbished doll. In a Feb. 8, 2011 statement to M.I.C., Apple said:
"Mr Jobs has not consented to the use of his name and/or image in the Product... The figure and its stand are replications of Mr Jobs image and Apple's trademark. The thin attempt to 'disguise' the figure in its current iteration does not impact the fact that you are plainly trading on Mr Jobs image..."

Lawrence Townsend, an attorney with the San Francisco-based intellectual property firm of Owen, Wickersham and Erickson, said that Cheung's action figure is in "clear violation of the right of publicity."
Right of publicity is a state law that protects an individual's identity, voice, image, photograph or signature from being used commercially without consent. After a person dies, those rights are usually transferred to that person's family or estate in a successor-in-interest claim.

California, the state where Jobs lived with his family and Apple Inc., is headquartered, passed the Celebrity Rights Act in 1985, which protects a celebrity's personality rights up to 70 years after his or her death.
"[Jobs' estate] has every right to enforce this," Townsend said. "I expect there will be a lawsuit to follow."
A quick search of the California's special filings registry did not turn up a listing for a successor-in-interest claim for "Steve Jobs" or "Steven Paul Jobs," but Townsend said Jobs' estate could file to obtain those rights at any time.

Requests for comments from Apple regarding In icon's collectible were not immediately returned.
"A big fan" of Steve Jobs who said he wrote an unauthorized biography of the tech tycoon many years ago, Cheung said he started making his Jobs' action figure long before the world knew the Apple CEO was sick. While Jobs' death was "really shocking," Cheung said the timing of his doll's release is "just coincidence."
"I love Steve Jobs for many years," he said. "I didn't know when he would die, but we did have it prepared."

In fact, the current Steve Jobs action figure is the eighth version of the doll that has been improved over time, Cheung said.

While Steve Jobs is the first doll In icons has produced, Cheung said now that his company has a partnership in place with a manufacturer and distributor, it plans to make other dolls of iconic figures, slated to be released later this year -- although Cheung wouldn't say of whom the dolls would be.
"I think the best way to remember [Jobs] is to make an action figure of him," he said

Cancer Rates Fall

There's good news and bad news. The good news is that deaths from cancers between 2004 and 2008 have dropped in the United States by 1.8 percent per year in men, and by 1.6 percent per year in women.

Even so, the rates of new cases of a few specific cancers, including pancreatic cancer, melanoma and cancers of the thyroid and kidney, are on the rise, according to a new report called Cancer Statistics 2012 by the American Cancer Society.

In the report, published online ahead of print in the journal CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians, the researchers found that the reduction in overall cancer death rates since 1990 in men and 1991 in women translates to the avoidance of more than a million total deaths from cancer during that time period.
Some other findings in the report:

• A total of 1,638,910 new cancer cases and 577,190 deaths from cancer are projected to occur in the United States in 2012.
• The most rapid declines in death rates occurred among African American and Hispanic men, 2.4 percent and 2.3 percent per year, respectively.
• Death rates continue to decline for all four major cancer sites (lung, colorectum, breast and prostate), with lung cancer accounting for almost 40 percent of the total decline in men and breast cancer accounting for 34 percent of the total decline in women.

As for why we've seen a rise in deaths from some cancers, the report authors say they aren't entirely sure. However, thsy suggest part of the increase (for esophageal adenocarcinoma and cancers of the pancreas, liver and kidney) may be linked to the increasing prevalence of obesity as well as increases in early detection practices for some cancers. Whatever the reason, these rising trends will exacerbate the growing cancer burden associated with population expansion and aging, say the researchers, adding that more research is needed to determine their underlying cause.

• The Top 10 Cancer-Fighting Foods
• 10 Do's and Don'ts to Reduce Your Risk of Cancer
• The 10 Deadliest Cancers and Why There's No Cure

Connecting and Reconnecting with CaringBridge

About CaringBridge

CaringBridge provides free websites that connect people experiencing a significant health challenge to family and friends, making each health journey easier. CaringBridge is powered by generous donors.
CaringBridge websites offer a personal and private space to communicate and show support, saving time and emotional energy when health matters most. The websites are easy to create and use. Authors add health updates and photos to share their story while visitors leave messages of love, hope and compassion in the guestbook.

Connected by CaringBridge

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• Each day, half-a-million people connect through CaringBridge.
• More than 1 billion visits have been made to personal CaringBridge websites.
• The CaringBridge community includes authors, visitors and/or donors in all 50 states and more than 225 countries/territories around the world.

The 2012 Lustgarten Community Walks Series Announced!

Visit the Lustgarten Foundation's website to learn more or click on the links below.

• 2/11/2012 Westlake Village, CA
• 2/18/2012 Cape Canaveral, FL
• 3/11/2012 Valley of the Sun, AZ
• 4/14/2012 Green Valley, AZ
• 4/15/2012 Naperville, IL
• 4/22/2012 Westchester, NY
• 4/28/2012 Wilmington, DE
• 4/29/2012 Westborough, MA 

Doctor with pancreatic cancer alive thanks to blood donors

WOODBURY, Minn. - A Woodbury doctor who has used donated blood to save the lives of children is now himself on the receiving end.

Diagnosed with end stage pancreatic cancer last year, Dr. Dick Marnach didn't expect to live until August.
"I was able to have Christmas with my kids. Without blood and blood products I wouldn't be here," Marnach said. "I would have been gone six or seven months ago."

Medication and blood donations have extended his life and given him new energy. He is now spending precious time with his three young sons. And as active as they are, jumping from remote control toys to the computer to peering at their new fish, he's actually keeping up.

"I go from being bed ridden to being able to get up play with my kids and be a normal dad and I am incredibly grateful," Marnach said.

As a pediatric anesthesiologist, Dr. Marnach has seen blood save lives.

"In the Children's Hospitals, we use blood on a daily basis to save children's' lives. Most people just don't realize that and realize how important it is."

Marnach has given his own blood to patients in other countries and seen people die overseas without it. So he doesn't take for granted the gift he's been given.

"Blood is exactly equivalent to organ donation because there's no substitute for a heart for a child when they need a heart transplant. And believe me, as a physician, I well know that there's no substitute for blood."
He says his cancer is no longer visible on any scans which he calls "profoundly unusual." It means he may have months or maybe years more with his boys. It's a miracle provided by strangers' blood.

"I so wish I could thank each person that gave me that blood and personally, for saving my life," Marnach said.

Dr. Marnach knows how precious the gift of blood is. He doesn't want to take it away from others and said he asks his doctors to only give him enough to sustain him.

So he wants to help save more lives by telling his story. He hopes it inspires at least 100 people come to the KARE 11 studios on Friday, January 6, 2012 from 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. for a blood drive put on by Health Fair 11 and the Red Cross. No appointment necessary. Click here for more details.

Clinical Trials are Key to Doubling the Survival Rate for Pancreatic Cancer

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Filed under:  Oncology

Pancreatic cancer is among the deadliest cancers in the United States with a five-year relative survival rate of just six percent. As part of an effort to double the survival rate for the disease by 2020, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network is calling attention to the need for increased participation in clinical trials.

MANHATTAN BEACH, CA — Clinical trials are vital to making progress and developing new treatments for any disease.  In particular for pancreatic cancer, the lack of treatment options currently available for patients make clinical trials an extremely important part of the research process as scientists seek new, better treatment options that will ultimately increase survival.

"Clinical trials are especially important for pancreatic cancer because so few effective treatment options exist, which is reflected in the dire statistics for this disease. Through participation in clinical trials, patients have access to cutting edge research and are taking an active role in advancing pancreatic cancer research. Clinical trials pave the way to therapeutic breakthroughs," said Julie Fleshman, president and CEO of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network recommends that all patients consider clinical trials when exploring treatment options. Through the organization's Patient and Liaison Services (PALS) program, a patient can receive a personalized eligibility search of all pancreatic cancer-specific clinical trials taking place nationwide to locate potential clinical trial options specific for that patient.

There are many pancreatic cancer trials taking place throughout the country. One example of something being tested in clinical trials is a new class of drugs called Hedgehog inhibitors. Hedgehog inhibitors may work in treating pancreatic cancer by improving the delivery of drugs to the actual tumor by decreasing the tumor's stroma, the layer of tissue surrounding the tumor, and increasing the number of blood vessels in it. These inhibitors may also work by providing a way to attack cancer stem cells as the Hedgehog pathway seems to play a role in the development of these cells. Hedgehog inhibitors are a type of targeted cancer therapy.  Hedgehog inhibitors and other types of targeted therapies are now under investigation in clinical trials for pancreatic cancer.

The preclinical laboratory work that led to the rationale for inhibiting Hedgehog as a way to treat cancer was conducted in the laboratories of David Tuveson, MD, PhD (Chair, Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Scientific Advisory Board and recipient of our 2003 Career Development Award) and Kenneth Olive, PhD (recipient of our 2011 Tempur-Pedic® Retailers Career Development Award).

"Based on the positive results of past clinical trials, there are three FDA approved drugs currently available to treat pancreatic adenocarcinoma, the most common type of pancreatic cancer. However, given the fact that 94 percent of pancreatic cancer patients succumb to the disease within five years of diagnosis, more treatment options are desperately needed to improve patient outcomes," added Fleshman. "Current clinical trials, such as the ones testing Hedgehog inhibitors, bring a great deal of hope to the pancreatic cancer community.  It's critically important for patients to enroll in clinical trials, both for themselves and for future patients."

Pancreatic cancer is the fourth leading cause of cancer related death in the United States. In 2011, more than 44,000 Americans were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and nearly 38,000 died from the disease. In fact, 74 percent of patients die within the first year of their diagnoses because the disease is typically caught at a late stage and is very resistant to current treatment options.

New Book Details Patrick Swayze's Cancer Fight

Published on Jan 6, 2012 by AssociatedPress

It's been two years since actor Patrick Swayze died from pancreatic cancer and his wife Lisa Niemi Swayze is still figuring out how to navigate her life without him. She writes of his illness and about her loss in a new book now in stores. (Jan. 6)

What is the Whipple Procedure?

In this video, Washington University surgeon William Hawkins, MD, explains the Whipple procedure, which is performed to remove cancer from the head of the pancreas. Hawkins and his colleagues complete about 125 Whipples a year, making the Siteman Cancer Center one of the highest-volume centers for this type of surgery nationwide. These surgeons pioneered a modification to the Whipple procedure that has resulted in the lowest fistula rate any large group (1.5 percent compared to 15 percent).

Pancreatic Cancer and Facebook

Are you a social media fan?  Did you know that you can connect with several organization searching for a cure to pancreatic cancer on Facebook?

First, there is our Facebook page, please "like" us!
Lustgarten Foundation Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk in Denver, CO

And here are several others ...

1200 miles for Pancreatic Cancer

Non-Profit Organization

Purple Iris Brigade (Help Win The Battle Against Pancreatic Cancer!)

Organization

Cure Pancreatic Cancer - The Lustgarten Foundation

Non-Profit Organization

Desean Jackson Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer

Product/Service

Pancreatica - To Fight Pancreatic Cancer

Non-Profit Organization

Michael Rolfe Pancreatic Cancer Foundation

Non-Profit Organization

American Cancer Society

Non-Profit Organization

National Pancreatic Cancer Foundation

Non-Profit Organization

Pancreatic Cancer Action Network

Pancreatic Cancer Sign and Symptoms

A new site gathering pancreatic cancer stories

Patrick with wife Lisa

About Patrick: American actor, dancer and singer-songwriter Patrick Swayze is one of the most inspirational men in history. He led his life as fully as possible, inspiring and touching millions of people's lives along the way.Patrick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2008 and fans across the world willed him to get better, but he sadly lost his battle on September 14th 2009 aged 57.
Not enough people knew about pancreatic cancer, but awareness grew after Patrick's diagnosis. Patrick's wish was to find a cure for pancreatic cancer , a disease that kills 94 per cent  of patients within five years after diagnosis.  His willingness to share his personal tragedy with the public for the sake of increasing awareness of the disease and the need for more research funding was a great act of courage.
“I keep dreaming of a future, a future with a long and healthy life, a life not lived in the shadow of cancer, but in the light. I dream that everyone diagnosed will be fortunate enough to have hope, that every human being lost to cancer isn’t gone, but is standing here with us tonight. I see a future where all scientists come together with a unified agenda, and share their research and their brilliance. We can do anything, but the longer we do nothing, more people will die. Together, we can the make a world where cancer no longer means living with fear, without hope or worse.Tonight I stand here, another individual living with cancer, who asks that we not wait any longer and I ask only one thing of you – please stand up with me.”~ Patrick Swayze speaking at the Stand up 2 cancer telefon 5th sept 08
The Battle: Since Patrick's death, his devoted wife Lisa Niemi, has continued to fight the battle against pancreatic cancer, determined to increase funding and awareness of pancreatic cancer. Lisa is now a spokeswoman for the Pan-Can Action Network and is committed to educating others about the disease.
Pancreatic Cancer Research is severely under funded. Currently, only 2 percent of the National Cancer Institute's (NCI) annual research budget is dedicated to pancreatic cancer. As a result, there are no early detection methods and few effective treatment options for patients faced with this disease. Most people don't think of Pancreatic cancer when choosing a charity to raise money for because there isn't enough awareness for the disease. With most cancers, there is a fighting chance but pancreatic cancer is deadly because diagnosis is usually when it is too late to cure.
The Book (what I am primarily looking for): To help raise money for the research, I am gathering your true-life stories of :

pancreatic cancer and how it has touched your life or your family's lives, Do you know anyone that has had pancreatic cancer? why would you like to see a cure? How did you become aware of this disease? What do you think about the statistics and lack of research?

or how Patrick Swayze has changed your lives or inspired you in anyway. What makes Patrick so special to you? Do you have a story about the day you met him? Have you always wanted to meet him? What is your favourite film that Patrick acted in? Has Patrick inspired you to do something? What did you think of Patrick's and Lisa's book? etc

or maybe your story is of the two combined, about Patrick and pancreatic cancer Maybe you became aware of pancreatic cancer because of Patrick's battle with it. Did he inspire you or somebody you know to fight against the disease with a more positive outlook?
All stories, comments and poems welcome.Your entry and name could be included in the book and all the proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the The Patrick Swayze Pancreas Cancer Research Fund at the Stanford Cancer Institute.  I am looking forward to sharing your story to inspire others! Please fill in the form below to share your story Thank you!  

http://patrickswayzechangedmylife.weebly.com/

Pancreatic Cancer Treatments

A combination of the Whipple procedure and advances in drug therapy are advancing treatment of pancreatic cancer at the Siteman Cancer Center at Barnes-Jewish Hospital and Washington Unviersity School of Medicine.

Richard Alf, Comic-Con Co-Founder, Dead at 59

SAN DIEGO January 6, 2012 (AP)

Richard Alf, one of the co-founders of San Diego's Comic-Con, has died from pancreatic cancer at age 59.
U-T San Diego ( http://bit.ly/A5XU8p ) reports that Alf joined up with a band of volunteers in 1970 to start the now-annual convention celebrating comic books.

Friend and fellow Comic-Con co-founder Mike Towry says Alf fronted a few thousand dollars to pay for the convention for the first three years and gave other co-founders rides in his car.

In 1970, the first Comic-Con was relatively modest compared to the convention that now draws more than 125,000 people to San Diego every summer for a 3-day extravaganza.

Alf also founded the Comic Kingdom shop in North Park in the 1970s.

Alf was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer in December.

He is survived by his mother.

Pancreatic Cancer, Genetics and Family History

Dr. Emily Chan, a medical oncologist at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center, discusses hereditary pancreatic cancer and what is done to follow those showing concerns of developing the cancer. She encourages patients to research clinical trials since the current therapies for pancreatic cancer need improvement.

Fashion Designer Tory Burch Helps Remake the Economy

Nov 17, 2011 11:42am

Fashion designer Tory Burch and small business owner Patti Sheehan host a Chicago small business mentoring group for women. Barbara Pinto/ABC News

How are fashion designer Tory Burch and a financial tool used for centuries in developing countries transforming the American economy?

One small business at a time.
Burch, who runs one of the nation’s fastest-growing companies, and her team of business experts, came to Chicago Wednesday to mentor a group of women running their own small businesses.
Burch knows the struggle well.  As a single mother, she  started her fashion empire at her kitchen table.   

Years later, she has about 1,000 employees, 61 US retail stores, and revenues expected to top $500 million, according to the Wall Street Journal.  Burch has also launched a foundation designed to provide economic empowerment to women and their families, hoping to grow a flourishing crop of women-owned businesses nationwide. Those businesses can create jobs and transform families  and communities.
“This is so important, ” she told the group.

According to the US Small Business Administration, small businesses employ more than half of all workers in the private sector, and make up more than 90 percent of the nation’s  employers.

“The women who are meeting here today we’re not even small business, we’re micro business. I have no staff.  I’m it,”  said Patti Sheehan, owner of a specialty boutique that sells wigs and prosthetics for breast cancer patients.   The store is called Second Act-which sums up her life too.  Sheehan left her career in advertising to pursue her passion.

“There’s a lot of cancer in my family. My Dad died of pancreatic cancer 20 years ago, my mom died of ovarian in 2007,” Sheehan explains.  ”I decided to make a switch, and took the advice I used to give my marketing clients..find a niche.”

She took her savings account and poured it into the business, but the economic downturn hit hard.   She was faced with either pleading with banks for a loan, or shutting down.
“It was so sad to think about closing. The thought of abandoning those women, if I leave..if I close they have no one,” she said.

Like the other women at the table, Patti found help at ACCION- one of the nation’s leading providers of micro loans.  She was able to secure $12,000 to keep her business running, and has two years to pay it back.

The concept of granting small loans to businesses has been used for years in developing countries, and is slowly gaining ground in America.

“We are an alternative to no,” said Mary Fran Riley, vice president of resource development at ACCION Chicago.  And, in this economy, “no” is a common response to small business owners looking for bank loans.

“We looked at ourselves as years ago priming the pump. Helping people get started , helping people get a bank loan,” said Riley.  ”We now see a lot of folks who could have gotten bank financing years ago, but can’t get it now.”

ACCION provides a lifeline that goes far beyond  money.
The agency’s partnership  with the Tory Burch Foundation provides a steady stream of advice from successful business owners, including the fashion designer herself.

“Do any of you blog?” Burch asked the women.  Burch, an avid user of social media, advocated the use of Twitter, Facebook and FourSquare to drive sales.

Patti Sheehan is looking for help in finding other retail products she can sell to improve her bottom line.
Renee Estese, of Oak Park Ill.,  wants some help franchising and growing her unusual business-a commuter bus-turned mobile coffee shop. She calls it Mojo Express, and explained how she got the idea.

“We were over at the high school watching fireworks and the ice cream truck was there,” she said,” and my husband said ‘too bad the ice cream truck doesn’t sell coffee.’   A lightbulb went off—a coffee bus!”
So, with a $5,000 loan from ACCION and money Estese borrowed and saved, she bought an old bus, and got friends and relatives to build a coffee kitchen inside.

“There’s a lot of things I want to do with this business. My future goal is to franchise and leave it to my kids.”

But Estese has Lupus which leaves her unable to work a traditional job, and unable to work the early-morning hours that would benefit her business.

“You want more buses? and people to run the buses, ” asks Burch. “Everyone here is looking to grow.”
That growth, Burch said, is best achieved in the company of other entrepreneurs.

“We realize that women are great at helping each other, and there’s synergy,” she said.

“I went to Haiti before the earthquake,and women there helped each other. If one woman was behind on her loan, the others would pitch in and help.”

Nationwide, ACCION has financed 24,000 loans so far, with a repayment rate of 90 percent.   Of the 30,000 applications sent to the Chicago office, 300 business owners will qualify for loans, and each of those loans creates approximately two jobs.

For Pamela Jones, her loan could likely create more.

Jones, a military veteran, ran a restaurant, and decided to bottle her sauces when that restaurant closed.  She started out door to door, peddling her Char-Boy Hot Honey Asian and Southern BBQ sauces to local supermarkets.

On weekends, she’d set up a folding table in the supermarket aisle to let customers taste her products.   She described the day that changed everything.

“I was approached by this gentleman, he said we have to have you in our stores. I said who are you? He said Walmart.”

Jones couldn’t believe her luck,  then the panic set in

“I thought wow, this is fantastic, Walmart is interested.  Where am I going to get the money to make all this sauce? I didn’t know where to go. Never had a business loan.”

Jones turned to ACCION for a $12,000 loan.  It was a lifeline.

“Without that loan, I couldn’t have launched this product.  I would have been stagnated, stuck and missed out on a fabulous opportunity,” she said.

Jones says Tory Burch has become her inspiration.

“For me, I feel like it gives me the motivation and energy, it also makes me want to succeed to be able to give back.”

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/business/2011/11/fashion-designer-tory-burch-helps-remake-the-economy/

Aretha Franklin to Say ‘I Do’

Jan 2, 2012 4:58pm

Aretha Franklin is not pregnant, but she is engaged.

The 69-year-old singer known as the “Queen of Soul” plans to tie the knot with her longtime friend, William “Willie” Wilkerson, she told the Associated Press in a statement today.

The Grammy-winning singer said the couple may tie the knot in a summer wedding, but not because they’re expecting any little prince or princesses of soul.

“No, I’m not pregnant,” she joked to the AP.

The walk down the aisle will be the third for Franklin, who divorced first husband, Ted White, in 1969 after eight years of marriage, and ended her six-year marriage to actor Glynn Turman in 1984.

The engagement, which came over the holidays, is good news for Franklin, who has experienced health problems of late.

The singer was hospitalized in December 2010 for reasons she and her representatives still decline to discuss.  After months out of the public eye, Franklin reemerged at the Grammy Awards in February, 85 pounds slimmer.

There were reports that Franklin had suffered from pancreatic cancer, or undergone gastric bypass surgery, both claims the singer strongly denied.

“There was just so many wild things out there and just so many things being said that weren’t true…,” Franklin was quoted as saying at the time.  “I don’t know where pancreatic cancer came from.”
“It definitely was not the bariatric or, what is it, gastric… Yeah, I can’t even tell you the correct name of it,” she also said.

Franklin told the AP she and Wilkerson are planning a June or July wedding, possibly in Miami Beach, Fla., with a post-ceremony reception aboard a private yacht.
When it comes to what the three-time bride will wear down the aisle, Franklin said she’s considering having either Vera Wang, Valentino or Donna Karan design her wedding dress.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

Bald Barbie: Mattel Under Pressure To Mass Produce Doll For Cancer Sufferers

Barbie maker Mattel is coming under growing pressure to mass produce a bald barbie doll for girls who suffer from hair loss, Digital Journal reports.

Last year, Mattel created a one-of-a-kind bald Barbie doll for a 4-year-old suffering from cancer who lost her hair during chemotherapy treatment, according to CBS New York.

Now, some want Mattel to make bald Barbies available to all their customers.

So far, a Facebook campaign has already generated more than 11,000 likes calling for a bald Barbie doll which they say will help boost the self esteem in women and children experiencing hair loss from cancer treatment, pulling one's hair out and other diseases that cause the immune system to attack hair follicles.
On their Facebook page, campaign organizers wrote the following explanation of their goals and the reasons behind the movement:

We would like to see a Beautiful and Bald Barbie made to help young girls who suffer from hair loss due to cancer treatments, Alopecia or Trichotillomania . Also, for young girls who are having trouble coping with their mother's hair loss from chemo. Many children have some difficulty accepting their mother, sister, aunt, grandparent or friend going from a long haired to a bald.

According to the Amarillo Globe-News, the movement is also asking Mattel to create headscarves and hats for the bald dolls.

A petition has also been started on Change.org lobbying for the manufacture of the hairless dolls. As of Wednesday, Jan. 11, the petition had garnered 817 signatures.

Tracey Kidd, whose daughter is suffering from cancer, told the Sunday Mail that she agreed with the campaign.

"There's so much emphasis, especially on little girls, on their hair and how they (cancer kids) look," Kidd told the paper. "It's important for them to feel good, especially in hospital."

Still, not everyone agrees with the idea of a mass-produced bald Barbie.

One Chicago blogger who writes under the name Mary Tyler Mom, argues that focusing on the something like toys fails to address the real needs of cancer sufferers.

Girls with cancer need a bald doll about as much as women with breast cancer need a pink Kitchen Aid mixer...You know what girls with cancer need? They need money. They need lots and lots and oodles and oodles of dollars for the researchers working on their behalf.

If Mattel agrees to make the bald Barbie, campaigners have said they hope the company will donate at least some of the proceeds to Saint Jude's Children's Hospital, a nonprofit pediatric cancer research center in New York.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/11/bald-barbie-movement-mattel-cancer_n_1197469.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009&fb_source=message

The Caregiver Chronicles: Flight for His Life

By Judy Overton on August 24, 2010 12:27 PM

After a long and successful career in broadcast journalism in Houston, North Texas and Oklahoma, Judy Overton joined MD Anderson in 2008 as a senior communications specialist. Her husband Tom was treated at MD Anderson for renal cancer. He died in April 2007. Judy's occasional posts will cover aspects of the cancer experience from the caregiver's perspective.
Read more posts in this series

By Judy Overton

My sister Jackie reminded me last weekend that Sunday, Aug. 22, would've been Tom's and my 29th wedding anniversary. We always favored the day we met, May 5, 1977, so it's not a surprise that I needed a reminder. However, as I reflect on our wedding day, I'm reminded of one line in the vows:

        ... in sickness and in health ...

We had just finished dinner on Labor Day six years ago. It had been a quiet weekend. Tom had studied for a class he was taking toward his master's degree and had made some marvelous ribs. I was on the phone with a friend around seven that evening when he entered the kitchen, doubled over in pain. "I need to go to the emergency room," he said, with a lot of effort. I got off the phone and we drove to the hospital about a mile from the house.

We should have called an ambulance.

We reported Tom's symptoms to the receptionist, and were directed to chairs in the busy waiting area. Our wait dragged on for 2-3 hours, during which I made several trips to speak with the receptionist to see when Tom would get into the inner sanctum. She said, "We see the people brought in by ambulance first, and then the most serious cases after that." Isn't urinating blood and having excruciating pain pretty serious, I thought to myself.

After one of these frustrating exchanges, another woman approached the desk and was given a similar line. She walked up to me and said, "Do you know they haven't even offered my husband any ice for his ankle?" The man had been sitting in a wheelchair when we first sat down in the lobby. His ankle was extremely swollen. "What's wrong with your husband?" she asked.

"He's urinating blood," I replied.

"And that's not serious?" she responded.

Tom eventually made it to an emergency room with the temperature of a meat locker. He was not only in great pain, but extremely cold. No one seemed to be tending to him. I know he produced a urine sample after they requested one, but other than a nurse getting his vitals, that was the extent of the check-up.

My timing may be off a bit since six years have passed, but I recall a nurse asking Tom to again give her a urine sample. "I did," he responded curtly. When she saw that it was filled with blood, she looked startled and got into action. "I need to order an MRI," she said. It was around 4 a.m., and Tom would be taken to the MRI room. Since I couldn't settle down in the straight-backed chair, I told him I was going to go home and get some sleep. "Please call me as soon as you know something," I pleaded.

About two hours later, the ringing of the phone awakened me. It was Tom. "They found a large mass, and are transporting me to Hermann Hospital," he said calmly.

 "I'll be right there," I replied. After collecting myself and quickly getting cleaned up, I drove back to the hospital for a short wait. I followed the ambulance to Hermann Hospital, where I'd been many times before as a news photographer awaiting the arrival of a shooting victim or a patient being brought in by the LifeFlight helicopter.

This flight would be for the life of my love -- my very best friend.

Contact Judy Overton at jboverton@mdanderson.org.

Well-done meat ups pancreatic cancer risk

By David Liu,  Ph.D.

Sunday Dec 25, 2011 (foodconsumer.org) -- A new study in the Jan 2012 issue of Molecular Carcinogenesis suggests eating well-done meat may increase risk of pancreatic cancer, one of the most lethal malignancies.

The study shows that those who had highest intake of meat-derived mutagens such as heterocyclic amines and bezo(a)pyrene were 86 percent more likely than those who had the lowest intake to develop pancreatic cancer.

K.E. Anderson and colleagues from University of Minnesota School of Public Health in Minneapolis, Minnesota conducted a survey of 62,581 subjects who were randomized to screening for cancer in the Prostate, Lung, Colorectal, and Ovarian Screening Trial for their intakes of HCA and BaP.  During a 10-year follow-up, 248 cases of exocrine pancreatic cancer were identified among the study population.  

The researchers found preferences for well and very well-done meat were generally correlated with increased risk for pancreatic cancer.   The risk of pancreatic cancer was found increased in those with upper quintiles of mutagenic activity indexes and mutagens 2-amino-3,4,8-trimethylimidazo[4,5-f]quinoxaline (DiMeIQx) and 2-amino-3,8-dimethylimidazo[4,5-f]quinoxaline (MeIQx), which are formed in well-done meat cooked at high temperatures.

The findings suggest that eating well-done meat may increase risk of pancreatic cancer.

Pancreatic cancer is diagnosed in about 44,030 people in the United States each year and the disease kills an estimated 37,660 people in the country.

Pancreatic cancer causes remain largely unknown, but possible risk factors include diabetes, chronic pancreatitis and smoking, according to the nih.gov.    Early common symptoms of the disease include dark urine and clay-colored stools, fatigue and weakness, jaundice, loss of appetite and weight loss, nausea and vomiting, and pain or discomfort in the upper part of the abdomen.

http://www.foodconsumer.org/newsite/Nutrition/Food/well-done_meat_ups_pancreatic_cancer_risk_1225110126.html

Until Death Do Us Part ... Really?

By Judy Overton on August 17, 2010 3:05 PM

After a long and successful career in broadcast journalism in Houston, North Texas and Oklahoma, Judy Overton joined MD Anderson in 2008 as a senior communications specialist. Her husband Tom was treated at MD Anderson for renal cancer. He died in April 2007. Judy's occasional posts will cover aspects of the cancer experience from the caregiver's perspective. Write to her at jboverton@mdanderson.org.

The Caregiver Chronicles, Part 1
By Judy Overton

Each time I visit my husband's grave, I can't help but zero in on the date of his birth - November 2, 1953. Tom died a little more than three years ago at the age of 53. My eyes then pan to my name and date of birth: February 23, 1955.

I'm 55 years old. My next thought is, "What would I do if I knew this would be my last year on earth?"

For one, I've always wanted to share Tom's and my cancer experience with others by writing a book. In fact, the title I've given this blog is the one I planned to use for it.

I often talk to my closest colleagues about my husband and our experiences during our more than 30 years together. Of course, sometime when I share moments of his diagnosis and treatment, my pent-up emotions can't help but surface. Recently, after such a conversation, a colleague suggested that I contribute to the Cancerwise blog in order to share my experiences with other caregivers.

Caregivers, my heart goes out to you. 

A family member once corrected my use of the term, insisting it should be "caretakers." My immediate thought was, "Doesn't she know! Caretakers don't take anything, but we give everything we've got."

It just seems appropriate that I'm writing this just a few days before the beginning of Caregivers Week here at MD Anderson.

In truth, my husband was an ideal patient who so appreciated my efforts. Toward the end of his life, Tom would often say, "You're an angel." But I never could accept it, and would flinch at the thought, because I knew how imperfect I was. My curt answer would be, "No, I'm not!"

I felt I was falling short in so many ways.


The "Birth" Date

Tom's diagnosis occurred six years ago, in 2004, during the Labor Day weekend. He casually told me on that Sunday morning that his urine was mainly blood. I was a little stunned, but since he wasn't experiencing pain, we agreed he would make an appointment with a physician on Tuesday after the holiday passed.

Still in shock, I consulted a medical diagnosis book. Under "urinating blood," I was led to information about prostate and renal cancer.

Cancer? Could it really be that? We were enjoying our first full year of having an empty nest. Our younger son, Matt, was now a sophomore at the university where Tom worked, and his older brother Nathan had been in college for about three years.

Things were running so smoothly, and we were now connecting at a much deeper level than ever before.

After my consultation with the medical books and sharing the unsettling news with Tom, I went for a walk at the high school track.

(We both would walk at the track on weekends, but we always went in separate cars. Tom liked to cruise the small town where we lived before he began his walk. I preferred to get right to the heart of the matter. In fact, people didn't know we were married, because we wouldn't walk together.)

During the walk, I remember thinking, "I could be a widow before I'm 50."

I shed a few tears, then decided I really ought to wait for a professional diagnosis before burying him!

And as I looked across the field to where Tom was strolling, I wondered what was going on in his head, too.

Patrick Swayze's Wife Revisits Loss in Book

Patrick Swayze's wife has a new book out and she's spreading the word about pancreatic cancer.  See the full interview with Robin Roberts on ABC's Website.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/patrick-swayzes-wife-lisa-niemi-swayze-revisits-loss-15279168

Caregiver Chronicles: The Art of Gratefulness

By Judy Overton on November 17, 2011 7:00 AM

After a long and successful career in broadcast journalism in Houston, North Texas and Oklahoma, Judy Overton joined MD Anderson in 2008 as a senior communications specialist. Her husband, Tom, was treated at MD Anderson for renal cancer. He died in April 2007. Judy's occasional posts will cover aspects of the cancer experience from the caregiver's perspective. Read more posts in this series

I haven't been myself lately.

I haven't felt like doing much beyond getting up and going to work.

Four-and-a-half years have passed since Tom died. His 58th birthday would have been Nov. 2.

Sometimes I can't believe he's gone. I don't think I'm depressed, but maybe I am. It's all catching up with me.

I've held the fort for so long, and now it feels like my psychological and emotional walls are caving in.

Continue reading Caregiver Chronicles: The Art of Gratefulness.         

Worth Waiting For, by Lisa Nieme Swayze

An excerpt from Lisa Nieme's new book ... WORTH WAITING FOR ...

Learn more on ... http://books.simonandschuster.ca/Worth-Fighting-For/Lisa-Niemi-Swayze/9781439196359/excerpt

Chapter 1

FAIRY TALE

ÞE MOMENT I reached for my notebook to start working on þis book, I was flooded wiþ an emotion þat I’ve tried to keep at bay for some time now. It’s a wave of feeling composed of endleß tears, reminding me þat I haven’t remotely cried enough.

The emotion þat washes over me brings þe distant past to an instant present. And þe details scream out in my mind and heart: every time I pushed down my feelings, every time I smiled when my world was tumbling down around me, and every time I heard a piece of bad news and reacted positively, laughing wiþ mock bravery when I should have been dißolved in tears.

There is a high price to be paid for þe privilege of caring for your loved one when he’s dying, but it’s one I wouldn’t have traded for anyþing. I always said þat I’d have plenty of time to cry later. When Patrick first got his diagnosis it looked like he might have only weeks to live. Then it was monþs. And þen, luckily, we paßed a year. And we kept going. . . . Twenty-one monþs is a long time to battle for your loved one against a fœ like cancer. It’s a long time to “hold up.” And now, I’ve been spit out on þe oþer side of þe fight, alone, trying to figure out how I’m going to go on wiþ my life.

Hot and cold.

Right now I’m running hot and cold.

As I write þis in May of 2010, it’s been over six monþs since I lost Patrick, and right now, at þis particular moment, I eiþer despise þe bad times he and I had togeþer, or worship þe good we had. No in-between.
So, at þis particular moment, I worry how can I talk about us, him, in an objective way. One þat gives an accurate, albeit can’t-help-but-be-emotional-here-and-þere idea of what really happened, who he really was, who I have been, and who I am now. ’Cause I tell you, I am a different person now. One who has been þrown into þe fire and forged. One who got stripped of all þe nice þings þat sheltered me from þe world, and from myself.

It’s been hard living out here in þe cold. I look for a life raft anywhere, and þere’s none to be found. No usual anchors to ground me. No more comfortable illusions. But þis person I am is real, painful in its growing spurt, þe growing spurt þat’s happened wiþout my husband . . . but real. And because I am real þere are poßibilities.

Now, þis isn’t þe way to start a book, but . . . I gueß I’m having an angry day, one of þose days þat happens sometimes since þe loß of my Buddy (“Buddy” was his lifelong nickname). And, yes . . . I gueß I am sad.

I þink I was hoping to wrap my experience wiþ him up wiþ a nice little bow. And remember it þat way. At arm’s lengþ. So, if I seem a little caustic right now, it’s just my attempt to have an arm’s-lengþ view of þe story I’m telling. And unfortunately, I know þat my being snarky is an attempt to not feel þe loß. Because . . . when I talk about him (as I’m doing here) . . . I miß him so much. So terribly. So completely þat I worry how I’m going to get to þe next moment.

Wait a minute . . .

. . . þere.

I made it to þe next moment.

And þat’s how you get þrough þe bad moments of grief. You do it one at a time.

And now I want to talk about him. About who he was when he was here on þis earþ. My beautiful man. I want to tell þis story before I get too far away from it and forget what þe journey of þe last couple years was really like. ’Cause we do forget. It’s only real when you experience it. After þat, as time gœs on, it becomes merely þe recounting of a story.

—

YOU KNOW, it’s funny because þere’s always so much talk about divorce statistics. When you get married you can’t help but be aware þat þere is an approximately 50 percent chance it will end in divorce. There are data about how many couples divorce in þeir twenties, þeir þirties, and so on, how many heterosexual couples, how many homosexual. There are television series starring divorced men and women, books written about divorce and by þe divorced, major movies made, let alone all þe divorced people you run into in everyday life, right? And þen þere are þe children of divorced parents, þe books þe children write when þey grow up, þe movies subsequently made, þe kids þat are carted off to one parent or anoþer, or even kidnapped. There is so much information out þere about what happens when marriages don’t work out.

But no one ever talks about what happens when marriages do work out.

What happens when you stay togeþer? If þis is someþing þat’s been þe source of great discußions, it’s not really been on my radar. The short answer to what happens when marriages work out is þat þe lucky couple lives happily ever after. That’s þe fairy tale. But we’re not living in a fairy tale, are we?

No one talks about þe “till deaþ do us part” þat comes at þe end of þe traditional wedding vows. What it means, what it really means. I þink it’s funny now how many people have changed þat line to “as long as we boþ shall live” or “for all þe days of our lives.” While I agree þat þe “deaþ” word is a little gruesome-sounding, þe two alternatives are full of loopholes. I mean, one can cherish someone’s memory—after one kicks him out of þe house. I knew wiþout a doubt, when þings were so terrible between Patrick and me in 2003 þat I moved out for a year, þat I would unequivocally love him always and to þe end of time, but I was still going to divorce his aß if þings didn’t change in our relationship. (Luckily þey did.) The oþer wedding vow alternatives also give me a laugh: “for all eternity” (really, you can really promise þat?), and one wiþ an even more obvious escape loophole, “þrough whatever life may bring us.” But hey, it’s honest.

No one wants to be stuck in a bad marriage.

—
“TILL DEAÞ do us part.” That’s what Patrick and I said in our vows when we got married. I had already made sure “to honor and obey” was stricken from þe record. Somehow I mißed “till deaþ do us part.” I was eighteen years old, I knew deaþ existed, but it was still a concept, someþing far, far in þe future. So far þat I didn’t have to worry about it.

We had þe greatest priest marry us, Faþer Welch. Faþer Welch was a friend of þe Swayze family. Patrick’s mom, Patsy, had actually done some musical þeater wiþ him back in þe day and said þat he had a crazy sense of humor. She told us how one day þe Faþer came up to her, “Hey Patsy, I have a great idea for þe show,” he enþused, “Let’s have a really elegant lady in a fancy ball gown come on þe stage, þen when she gets to þe chair, she hikes up her dreß, sits down like a farmhand, and starts plucking a chicken!

Isn’t þat great?” I looked at Patrick and deadpanned, “He sounds great.”

And Faþer Welch was great. During my interview wiþ him, which I found out was required for a Caþolic wedding, I balked at saying yes to þe questions about converting to þe Caþolic religion, raising children, and birþ control. He’d wave a hand and write in, “yes,” “yes,” “yes,” saying þat all þese questions were going to change in a few years anyway so it didn’t matter. I find it hilarious þat I was so honest and sincere þat it was difficult for me to let him put in þe “yes” answers, and yet, I didn’t once mention þat I didn’t really believe in þe institution of marriage, and furþermore, fully expected þis one to end up as one of þe divorce statistics. And þat I was okay wiþ þat.

The whole idea of marriage had come about in an abrupt way. It wasn’t like Patrick and I had talked about marriage. We had talked about þe future, þough mostly in terms of what we wanted to do as dancers, where we wanted to dance, and wiþ whom. I just wanted to dance. Patrick wanted to dance wiþ me. And it made me nervous.

We had been living togeþer in our tiny, one-bedroom brownstone apartment wiþ dark yellow-gold walls in New York City for about nine monþs. I had just returned from doing a dance performance and visiting my family in Houston for a few days, where I had a conversation wiþ my very liberal, open-minded moþer in which she raised a surprisingly conservative point, and said, “You know . . . wiþout þe commitment of marriage, all you and Buddy are doing is ‘playing house.’” Yeah, and . . . ? Back in New York, I made þe mistake of relaying þis exchange to Patrick. He just kind of . . . stopped for a moment. Three days later, we were in þe middle of a tickling fight on our futon couch when he paused, his arms around me.

“What?” I asked curiously.

His face flushed. “Why don’t we do it? Why don’t we get married?”

I froze. And tried to buy time, clumsily attempting to negotiate a lengþy engagement, “Yeeahh, we could do þat . . . we could get married . . .”

I had left home only nine monþs before. I wasn’t ready to move straight from þere into anoþer home. I had places to go, people to see, þings to do! I wanted to dance! I didn’t even believe in marriage to begin wiþ, alþough I planned to revisit my stance on þat subject in anoþer twelve years or so when I reached þirty.

“When?” he was warming up to þe idea, “When do you þink we should do it?” He was not only warming up to þe idea, he wanted to close þe deal right þen and þere.

“Uhm, how about . . . in þe fall of next year?” That was a year and a half away. I figured I’d have plenty of time to figure a way out by þen.

His face fell. And he began to look mortally wounded.
“Don’t you þink þat would work?” I defended. “Why? Why . . .” I softened, “What were you þinking?”


Never dreaming þat he would say . . .

“I þink if we’re going to do it, we should just do it right away. Like next monþ,” he said wiþ conviction. “What do you þink?” And he nervously looked me straight in þe eye while he waited for my reaction.

Gueß who won?

—

WE WERE so different from each oþer, and yet, so much alike. I was fourteen years old when I first laid eyes on him at Houston Music Theater when his mom’s dance school and company merged wiþ þe þeater group I was working wiþ. How could you not notice him? He was tan, buff, and had a dazzling smile. And his reputation for being a Casanova and having a big ego had preceded him. This wasn’t helped by þe fact þat my first contact wiþ him came when we paßed each oþer coming in and out of þe þeater, and he reached over and pinched me on þe butt. “Hey þere, cutie!” he said in a boþ friendly and mischievous tone. “Oh, broþer.” I rolled my eyes as he paßed me.

Alþough I had a rich and deep internal life, on þe outside I was painfully shy and had excruciating difficulty being around people. I just didn’t know how to talk to þem, not þe slightest idea. I hate using þat word “shy,” because it indicates þat I was always þat way. I wasn’t when I was in a situation I was familiar wiþ. I always marveled how I could bust it up plenty loud and good wiþ my broþers at home, but at school, never utter a word or raise my head or hand. I was so socially wiþdrawn þat I would plot and plan how I was going to walk from point A to point B acroß a room in public long before I actually did so. Honestly, I wouldn’t make a move until I’d figured out how to do it and be as invisible as poßible lest I draw attention and have someone look at me, or say someþing. I wasn’t just a wallflower; I was an expert, practiced wallflower. Not such an easy þing to master when you’re skinny and strikingly fair, wiþ a shock of unusually white blonde hair. And yet, þis shy girl is þe same girl who opened up on stage like gangbusters, who felt she could reach out and touch þe deepest parts of people.

Buddy, on þe oþer hand, was gregarious. He carried himself shoulders back, head high, wiþ þe confidence of þe popular guy, and one who was very comfortable wiþ þat position. Me, I was hanging wiþ þe longhaired, misfit, doper crowd. It was natural þat any friends I did have were people who also didn’t fit in. And we hid behind our cigarettes, pot, and differentneß. I wasn’t so noticed wiþ þem and it was okay to be weird. In contrast, Buddy looked like a cliché of þe All-American, clean-cut, clean-living star aþlete of school and home. He was almost . . . too perfect. And it wasn’t þat I hated þat about him, I was never quick to judge people. If anyþing, I gave þem too much latitude. It’s just what I observed. If anyþing, I felt a little sorry for him. For all his being so perfect looking, and perhaps because of it, he didn’t fit in eiþer.
One þing about being so quiet is þat while everyone else is busy doing someþing or talking—you are watching. Really watching (beware þe ones who are quiet!). You can see þings þat might not be apparent to oþers. Being painfully shy, I was always quick to see oþers’ pain, alþough I never let on þat’s what I saw. Behind Buddy’s quick grin, I saw nervousneß. Behind his bravado, I saw a pain I þought þat even he didn’t really know about (þat’s my fourteen-year-old self speaking). Behind his awkward teasing and small talk, I sensed a deep insecurity and need. One þing I knew for certain . . .

This guy wasn’t my type.

And later, when I shifted to dancing full-time wiþ his mom, he asked me out.

Of course I accepted.

—

OUR FIRST dates were not very succeßful . . . to put it mildly. They consisted mostly of him chatting on to fill every poßible silence and me barely talking at all as we cruised along in his bright yellow Opel GT. He loved þat car!

A sample of our conversation:
Patrick: “My first car, I built from þe ground up, I got most of þe parts from my uncle’s automotive shop, he had gotten þis big shipment of used Dune Buggies for old-folks homes and took þem apart for parts, so I got to get whatever I needed from him, of course my Dad came in and helped me wiþ some þings. And þen þere was football practice, which was taking most of my time after school, and þen I had to hustle to dance claß so þere wasn’t a lot of time to make extra money, and þen þere was a paper route I þrew from þree to four o’clock in þe morning. But I manage to get to dance claß every chance I get. So, you are looking to go to New York and dance?

(pause)

“Yes.”

(pause)

(pause)

Patrick: “That’s good ’cause you really have þe talent. No, really, I wouldn’t just say þat. You know Bob Joffrey, who I’ve known all my life, says þat if I really work on my feet, you know how you can get þat little arch just above þe metatarsal. It’s þe hardest þing, and þen getting þe foot to do þat little wing. . . . It’s not so easy for a guy to get, but my feet are looking pretty good . . .”

And on and on. It was strange because þe dates were so uncomfortable and yet . . . not uncomfortable at all. Of course I’d been told þat all þe girls wanted him and he could have his pick (so þey said, and it was probably true). But he didn’t intimidate me, mostly because 1) I was not looking to lay any claim to him, 2) I had his number. I knew he appeared to be a flirt and to have a big ego. But I knew what he felt like inside. And þough our first few dates were pretty terrible, þere was a powerful attraction between us, and we kept coming back, even þough we still didn’t trust each oþer. I was still wary of his self-centered, Casanova reputation, and he was still wary of my “bad girl” doper rep. And þen, one day þat mistrust melted away. It actually happened when he wrote me a letter from New York telling me þat he þought he had fallen in love wiþ a fellow dancer at Harkneß Ballet. My reaction surprised me—I was happy for him. I discovered þat I really cared about him. And þe depþ of my feeling surprised me.

You know, some people talk about how þey knew when þey met þe love of þeir life. I didn’t know þat Patrick was going to be þe love of my life. I wouldn’t have even dared to suppose þat. But I did have a premonition, a strong sense þat þere was destiny between us. Maybe it was þat we’d have a more meaningful relationship before we parted, or . . . I didn’t know exactly what. But I knew þere was going to be someþing. And I was confident in it. From þe beginning, even while I still had my guard up, I saw someþing deep inside him þat I þought was pure gold. It belied all þe þings þat were said about him and who he was, it belied even þe þings he said about himself. And þen one night, right before our relationship made a turn and we started to trust, I had a dream about him. It was like a moving picture, moving, but still life. He was seated on someþing akin to a windsurfer board, a small sailboat floating on a big, beautiful, blue lake . . . bright, clear, golden light shining on him . . . a breeze gently blowing þrough his hair. And he was sitting naked, feet folded up in front on him. And þough he was beautiful, it wasn’t þat it was sexy . . . he was pure. And he smiled at me wiþ one of þe most beatific smiles I’ve ever seen.

I woke up wiþ wide eyes! Now, I’ve been writing down and paying attention to my dreams since I was twelve years old. I was shocked at þis vision of him in my dream. I knew þen, wiþout a shred of doubt, þat I liked him. I really, really liked him.

So, when he asked me to marry him, when for some crazy reason I was still holding on to þe idea þat he “wasn’t my type,” þat, and a few oþer þings þat concerned me about committing to him for þe rest of my life . . . I was not prepared to let him go. And I didn’t feel I could say “no” wiþout losing þe relationship, or hurting him badly.
“Oh, well,” I þought, “I need to go þrough wiþ þis. We can always get divorced later.”
And on June 12, 1975, as I stepped out into my family’s small backyard in Houston, Texas, þe group of family and friends standing scattered in þe graß, Faþer Welch standing calmly center wiþ his Bible, my faþer proudly offering his arm to me at þe back door to lead me out, out to face a fuzzy Patrick, Patrick standing stiff and still in his light blue suit, fuzzy not only because he seemed somewhat paralyzed, but as I grasped his hands and we held tight, tears had pushed þeir way into my eyes . . . and þey started to stream down my cheeks.

—

AND WE were off to þe races! From being dancers, we went to working in þe þeater, from þeater we moved to Los Angeles for film. There were heartbreaks and struggles, along wiþ adventure, enþusiasm, and sweet little victories. It was tough at times, but we were resilient, and we always made it somehow. We were living and pursuing our dreams.

It was during þis time þat I started to learn how to talk to people. I started wiþ þings as simple as saying to a grocery cashier, “It’s a nice day today.” Then I graduated to more challenging conversation. Practice, practice, practice.

How ironic is it þat þis quiet, introspective girl got þrown into þe public eye on a level þat few people have to deal wiþ? When Patrick first did þe miniseries Norþ and Souþ and þen hit it big wiþ Dirty Dancing, þe lid blew off our lives and þere were not only multitudes of people and decisions to make, but he and I were þrown into a high-profile world þat included doing preß and on-camera interviews for national and international audiences. Gimme a break! Patrick was always pulling me from þe shadows þat I moved in so well. Actually, early on, before he had made any kind of name for himself, his first manager suggested þat he not even mention he was married, to which Patrick emphatically and wiþout hesitation said, “No way. I’m proud to be married.” Not many oþer ambitious actors would have made þat choice. He always insisted þat I be a part of everyþing he did and included me in every interview poßible. He wanted people to see me. We were a team. I learned how to give an interview wiþ þe best of þem (Patrick being my main example!).

At þe same time, þe fact þat I was so quiet and guarded came in handy in þis new, highly public life. A life in which þere were many þings you did not tell. To anyone. Ever. Not sharing your deepest þoughts, your painful problems, or any unhappineß was considered an aßet to a public image, but it reinforced þe worst of my lonely struggles and feelings þat I was always on my own to sink or swim.
Along wiþ succeß comes anoþer set of problems. I’ve always said, “If you really want to test someone, give þem what þey really want.” Getting want you want removes þe idea þat once you get it, everyþing will be great. Try living wiþ þat. Lots of people can’t deal wiþ it. And as down-to-earþ a person as Patrick could be, he got lost in þat conundrum more þan a few times. Added to þe fact þat he spiraled downward when his faþer died, taking on þe booze þat his dad had imbibed for many years. And alcohol and he did not mix very well.

So many challenges. And so many adventures. Wiþ our new lives we got to travel, do incredible þings, enjoy fascinating work, have acceß to situations people only dream about and be crazy in love wiþ each oþer as we learned, grew, and gained valuable experience. We also fought, pushed ourselves beyond streß, and tested þe limits of our relationship. From Patrick I learned bravery, knowing þat noþing is impoßible, and þe startling ability to push beyond þe boundaries of what you þink your limits are.

I don’t know how—but we always hung in þere togeþer. Close as close could be. A friend once described us as symbiotic twins, someþing I þought poßibly was not a compliment. But þrough þick and þin we stayed fast, which only made it all þe more painful when in 2003 I moved out after his drinking had escalated to a breaking point. I know I had reached mine. It had been a good ten years in coming, and I felt I was breaking in half. It had gotten to þe point where I knew someþing had to stop or someone was going to die. It was þat terrible. I was gone a year. And after he stopped drinking, and þere was some hope þat þings could be manageable again, I moved back in.

But our reunion was not going to solve all of our problems. And little by little, my faiþ in þe relationship crumbled furþer into despair. I’d find myself waking up in þe middle of þe night crying, not stopping for hours. I had given up on þe hope þat Patrick’s and my relationship could turn around and truly be what it was meant to be, and I felt like I was witneßing þe living deaþ of our marriage at þat point.

My friend Lynne, who had been þere for me in some of þe hardest times, always reminded me þat miracles could happen. I didn’t believe þat was poßible wiþ Patrick and me. There was too much history. Sometimes you just go too far down þat road of destruction. There ends up being too much hurt, you become too entrenched in your positions to ever break free. Again, for þe final time, I was ready to leave, for good. I hadn’t moved my stuff out yet, but in my heart, þe door had closed and I was already gone. And þen . . .

A miracle happened.

Honestly.

A lady psychic came to visit us—yes, þat’s right, a lady psychic—and it was þe catalyst þat turned our relationship around overnight. Wheþer þis woman was truly psychic or just incredibly intuitive, or boþ, she saw what was going on and, unlike many, wasn’t afraid to say what she saw and not back down. Mercileßly, but wiþ care, she wasn’t going to let us not see. And what happened, I wouldn’t have believed was poßible if I hadn’t been þrough it myself. It was as if boþ of us were ready to walk þrough þat door togeþer at þe same time. It was noþing short of magic. I felt like for þe first time in years Patrick saw me, really saw who I was, who he fell in love wiþ. And þough I was still afraid, I still wanted him more þan anyþing on þe planet. We saw þat. And we opened ourselves to each oþer and took þat leap togeþer. Hand in hand.

The change was profound. And when a few weeks later, we broke into a terrible argument, Patrick stopped in þe middle of þe argument and held me tight, tears coming into his eyes, and he said, “I will do anyþing. I never want us to go back to þe way it was.” My heart melted, and I squeezed him back. We were finally learning what to do, to have what we wanted so much. And every time he showed me love, every time he was kind to me, every time he smiled at me, it erased þe parts of our history I þought could never heal. Crazy, huh? You can heal wiþ love. Just sometimes too much stuff gets in þe way of þat love.
When we were first togeþer we had always joked about how a relationship was not supposed to be easy, þat it wasn’t like we were Prince Charming and Snow White. All “roses and daffodils,” as we said. And God knows it had been work. But here we boþ were, over þree decades later, and we had just witneßed a fairy tale come true. It took over þirty years, but it was better þan roses and daffodils. He had me. And I had someþing even better þan þe man of my dreams.

Then . . .

—

NEW YEAR’S 2008, we were visiting friends in Aspen and raised a glaß of champagne for a toast over dinner. Patrick grimaced a little when he swallowed it down, but he didn’t say anyþing. Throughout our trip and our stay at our ranch in New Mexico, he was hitting þe Tums pretty regularly. But I didn’t worry; he’d always had a sensitive digestive system.

Back in Los Angeles a week later, he came to me on a Sunday afternoon, “Do my eyes look yellow to you?” He hadn’t been feeling well and had bad indigestion. I had also noticed he had eaten little to noþing in þe last two or þree days. I peered into his eyes curiously, moved him into better light to make sure. “Yes, yes, þey do look yellow.” I called Celinda, our housekeeper for over twenty years, over to confirm, “Yes. Yellow.” She nodded in her definitive way. I looked at him . . . “Let’s get you in to þe doctor first þing tomorrow,” but Patrick aßured me þat þere was no rush. I’m not an alarmist, and wasn’t trying to be one now, but I shook my head, “No . . . better to go. This is not normal. Let’s get you in.” So what, I þought. We get it checked out and þat’ll be þat.
—
ÞERE’S A word in þe Finnish language þat þe Finns hold in very high regard—“Sisu.” I’ve known of þis word since I was a youngster, and being of Finnish heritage, I was told þat þis “Sisu” was in my blood and a part of my DNA. My family’s roots on boþ sides are Finnish, and I am þe second generation born in þe United States. I always þought þat my family was a little strange. That is, until þe first time I visited Finland. Everyone þere was just like my family! I realized þat we weren’t crazy; we were just a Finnish family living in Texas, U.S.A. Hell yeah! And while I learned from Patrick how to be braver and to believe noþing was impoßible, I had also learned how to be tougher þan þe rest as I grew up as þe only girl wiþ five strapping broþers (and no, I was not spoiled being þe only girl). But þat toughneß and pluck was noþing compared to þe “Sisu” I had been always been told was my birþright.

“Sisu” basically means courage. But it’s more þan just having guts. Loosely translated into English it means strengþ of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in þe face of adversity. For example: a riding student falls off a horse, she dœsn’t cry and gets back on þe horse. If she falls again, and keeps getting back on, she is showing Sisu. Several Finnish aþletes have shown þeir Sisu, like Laße Virén, who in þe Munich Olympics fell during þe 10,000-meter running event, but got up and won þe event, breaking þe world record. In 1939, a powerful Rußia invaded Finland wiþ þree times as many soldiers, þirty times as many aircraft, and one hundred times as many tanks. By þe time it was over, þe Rußians had suffered heavy loßes and succeeded in taking only 11 percent of Finland’s territory. Unbelievable.

Sisu is not a momentary courage, but a particular brand of doggedneß, one þat is capable of facing down deaþ itself. Knowing þat you have lost and still continuing to fight . . . þat shows Sisu.

The next two years would test my Sisu beyond anyþing I had ever imagined.

© 2012 Troph Productions, Inc.